"She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
Day 3
M.J.
Today was an exceptionally busy day. First, uncharacteristically, the dog decided for some reason he needed to go outside at 4am. I wasn’t going for it. But he is usually so good, I thought it may be important. So, up at 4 am to let the dog out I went. Just getting back in and trying to get to sleep, my 7 year old daughter decides she had an unsettling dream and wants to crawl in bed with mom. My husband then decides that snoring loudly is something he wants to do. So, needless to say, I did not get much sleep. But, up I was at7 am. You see, I volunteered to make desserts for my daughters class and had no idea what I was going to make. So, up out of bed I went. To make a long story short, there were about 62 things to do this morning before school and the day raced on.
No devotionals, no morning blogging, and barely a prayer. My husband got about 2 minutes of attention from me today. The day finally over, the kids in bed, exhausted, I decided that I needed a bath and listened to my friend by proxy, Joyce Meyer as she taught one of her stellar sermons.
It was very inspirational. When her show was over, I finally took some time to contemplate today’s verse.
I read it first thing in the morning, as I have it programmed into my phone so that I can read it several times a day. My first thought was, “Of course I don’t bring him harm. Of course I bring him good.” Then I began to reflect on the definitions of them both. What is harm? Is harm just limited to wicked, unfaithful women? Or is harm something that I am capable of doing on a daily basis?
I am notorious for stacking my days. My son’s book report was due today, my daughter had her class celebration, I am doing a big stack of paperwork for a job interview, I am making desserts for 200 people and for some reason, I volunteered to make desserts, French desserts, for my daughters class.
Now, I have to tell you, my daughter cares nothing about French desserts. She would eat a cookie made of butter, sugar and flour. But, after some reflection, I guess I wanted to thoroughly impress the staff and parents, because I made a French dessert. It was magnificent, but added stress to my day like you would not believe. My husband and family did not get the fresh juices I have been making for them every morning. I was too stressed to give him a happy greeting this morning. I was so busy, I barely made eye contact with the love of my life, father of my children. I then, barked at my children to hurry and put their shoes on, getting upset when my nine year old told me his were lost (again!). Not having time to clean up, I not only did not make my husband breakfast on his day off – I left him with a dirty kitchen, so he would have to wade through the dishes if he wanted to make it himself. Here it is, almost midnight and I am just pondering over the day wondering how I brought my husband good today. I can tell you that I made him feel unimportant by bypassing having (and making) breakfast for/with him. I did not show him that I have any faith or confidence in him, as I did not even make eye contact this morning. I left him with a mess on his day off, showing him that I valued making the volunteered project over his needs and wants. Was I hope or inspiration today? No. Was I uplifting and showing him I value him? No. Did I install confidence today? No.
I guess the point I want to make is that harm doesn’t always come in the form of “lying, cheating, or stealing” Sometimes harm can come by being too busy to notice that we have a very important role in our family and we are equipped and gifted with the ability to handle it. When we don’t use it, we ARE actually bringing harm. Today, I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to reflect on this day, and I am very grateful, that each day, every minute, God invites us to start fresh. I am going to go downstairs and find my husband, and let him know how much I appreciate all he does for us. I am going to go to sleep and welcome tomorrow as another chance at “bringing good” to my husband and my family, and be grateful that God brings the sun to rise each day, new, inviting and inspiring me to try again.
M.J.
Cat's Day 3
This is my beloved, and my friend.
My parents just celebrated their 50 year anniversary. It was really great to see them still clinging so tightly together after so many years. Being an artist, I took great enjoyment out of being able to create a photo-montage of our family for them. I placed a picture of the two of them, sharing an embrace, in the middle and surrounded them with their family members (their children, grandchildren etc.) Near their images were the words, "This is my beloved and my friend". It turned out really neat. In a minute, I'll explain why mentioning this is relevant to my investigating my verse of the day.
This morning I was wondering what I was going to blog about the 12th verse of Proverbs 31: "She does him good and not evil, All the days of her life." I read it over and over and then left it. During the day I would pray that God would give me a deeper understanding as to what that meant. On the surface, I would say, "Oh, don't do evil to my husband" well duh, that's easy, why on earth would I do that? Seems counterproductive since causing him evil affects me as well. Afterall, I am his wife, so any evil done to him is also, for the most part done to myself. But my question in prayer was, "Show me Lord what it really means to do him good and not evil all the days of my life." I meditated on this verse as I went on with my day. Today, I was blessed with our marvelous babysitter Chloe, so that I could get some grocery shopping done for the coming week. I had all of my coupons ready and list made, I knew exactly where I was going and had it all planned out so that I would not waste any gas or time. I got many items for free today by way of my couponing expertise and spent way less than 1/2 of my usual grocery budget! I was a good steward. Surely, my thriftiness was to be considered "doing my husband good and not evil". While making lunch I continued to ponder over this. After lunch, while cleaning the bathrooms and doing laundry, I asked myself again, "Can't all this work be considered doing him good and not evil?" I think it's all only part of it.
Later, after my husband came home, we were getting ready to go to the gym together (we've really come to enjoy our time working out together). Using the juicer, he very kindly made us a fresh fruit juice to share so we'd have enough energy to burn while we worked out. While he juiced, we talked a little more about our gym schedule. He asked why I didn't go often in the mornings like I used to. I told him that since the gym only allows us two hours of daily childcare, I didn't want to use an hour in the morning just in case he would like to work out with me in the afternoon. (He usually likes to use about one to one and a half hours to work out together and if I used an hour in the morning it would cut into the time available to work out with him, and I'd much rather work out with him than without. ) And then he said something that gave me insight as to what it means to " do good to him". He said, "That is so thoughtful and sweet of you to consider me like that. You are so nice to me. No one has ever been as nice to me as you have been. You are my very best friend."
Then it hit me. I do good to him, not in a blind way, the way a robot would, just going through motions. I do good to him because I love him, because he is the best friend I could ever have. Because he is the most precious person on this planet to me that I treasure and there is no one and nothing that could ever take his place in my heart . Because I love him. Later, the Lord brought a verse to my mind: Romans 13:10 "Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." My husband is my closest neighbor, the most intimate of interpersonal relationships for me. It occurred to me that I could actually fulfill each and every verse perfectly of the Proverbs 31 woman and yet not be her and accomplish absolutely nothing if I lack the love portion of it all. I love 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love suffers long and is kind (just like God is to us); love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." Amazing. The truth is that if love is at the core of it, then everything else is built easily atop of it. Work is easy, suffering is of no count, politeness is a breeze, forgiveness comes naturally, hope and belief in this person will never fail if you love them. It is easy to do him good and not evil all the days of my life.
Growing up in my parents' home, I saw many, many ups and downs ; they married young, so as kids we got to see them make many mistakes while they learned to work things out and compromise, but on both sides (mom and dad's) I think they learned to love each other deeply and so as they got much older, learned to overlook many wrongs (1 Peter 4:8: "Have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins." ) If I did everything right, but had not love then I've done nothing of any real value to anyone. My parents aren't the only ones who have made mistakes. I've had an impressive amount of practice at it. But we aren't robots, we are people and so we are fallible. We are going to make mistakes, but if love is the foundation for our life together, perhaps if it is God's will, I will someday have the honor and privilege to make a special picture for my husband on our 50th anniversary, with the words, "This is my beloved and my friend". I think I understand what it means to do him good and not evil all the days of my life; to build every investment upon love and give it my best because of it. Thank you Lord, for teaching me something new everyday ;).
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