Day 4
M.J.
"She selects wool and flax, and works eagerly with her hands."
Today was another busy day. I did, however, stop to smile at my husband. I also did stop a few times to check myself to see if what I was doing was something to make my husband gain confidence in me. So, you see, I’m teachable.
I am prayerfully applying for a new job right now, and the hiring process is quite a share of paperwork. I had time to read my devotional this morning, which was Luke 9:28-36. It talked about how God made no mistake on letting us know that Jesus was His son. He did not say “This is one of my sons.” Or “This is a really good guy.” He said “This is my son. Listen to him.” I am relating it to my blog today because I think it is important that we recognize and reverence the Word for what it is. God gave us such an awesome instruction manual! One scripture can be such a help to us, if it is prayerfully approached.
My husband, noticing the difference in me, I’m sure, cleaned the kitchen for me and cleared the breakfast dishes and loaded the dishwasher, while I was filling out my paperwork. What a blessing! I am not saying he does not lend a hand with the housework from time to time, but what I am saying is, I really appreciate him doing it today.
Which finally, brings us to today’s verse, which has been on my mind all day.
As I have stated before, I am notorious for stacking my days, and I’m trying to wean my way away from that, for obvious reasons. The first thing I thought about with this verse was, she was industrious. “She selects wool and flax, and works eagerly with her hands.” I thought, “I work eagerly with my hands! I am really good at working eagerly! I'm industrious!” But then such a conviction came over me as I read this verse again. “She selects wool and flax…”
I am working eagerly with my hands tonight. I am making desserts for about a hundred people for an event tomorrow at our church. I love to bake, so I volunteered to do it.
Again, the house is a bit of a mess and the kids did not get their night time story, because mom is in the kitchen working on another volunteer deadline. Not good.
This proverbs woman is busy too. She is out and about. What is this woman doing when she goes to the marketplace? What do I do when I go to the marketplace? Again, I want to point out what the text did not say. “She selects pretty fabrics and fine perfumes.” Or it did not even say “She selects fabric to make for the poor and needy.” Although, the passage refers to reaching out to the poor later on in this section, I think it is wisely and strategically placed. She takes care of her family and household before she reaches out to the poor or anyone else that might "need" her. This verse, as is the next seven verses, a reference to her family. It didn’t say she bought vases, perfumes, jewelry. She bought wool. I am looking at subtext here, but I think is it pretty safe to assume she is buying this for her family. Wool to be spun into fabric, to be made in to clothes for her husband and children as well as herself. She also bought flax. Flax is a meal that is nutritious and shows care for the well being of her family’s health. She is not out and about to impress, bring glory to herself, or even take care of any one other than her family in this verse. She is virtuous.
I have been guilty of working “eagerly” outside of my home and have done some great charity and volunteer work. I have also worked eagerly inside my home. But if I had a dime for every time I worked eagerly outside my home and a hundred dollar bill for every time I worked eagerly inside my home, the first would be where my fortune would be made. So, today, I am examining my priorities and setting some new rules about what I am doing in the "marketplace." Is my first priority to my home? I am a very good wife and mother, but being painfully honest, I would have to say it has not always been. I have done so much volunteering and “helping” that my first ministry, my household, has had times where they had to wait and watch. It is amazing what revelation we can glean from a scripture. God is pretty cool that way. Tomorrow I am delivering desserts and “suspending” any more volunteer work and looking forward to spending some time with my family. I will look forward to “Spinning them wool and preparing flax” in other words, letting them know, they are the most important thing in the world to me.
M.J.
Cat's Day 4
"She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands."
I love to work with my hands. I love working in the garden, doing yard work. I love cooking and cleaning. I love making art-all kinds. There is something very real about working with one's hands, something that grounds us. If you've never 'thrown' clay on a moving wheel and made a pot with your hands, you are missing out on a very zen-like earthy moment that never quite leaves your mind. While the rest of the world has moved on into the digital world with great enthusiasm, I choose to spend alot more time practicing the now archaic practice of traditional photography. I love developing my own black and white film, taking also colored film and using alternative photography methods, creating all kinds of image transfers and altered art. I need to get my hands dirty with creativity and digital, though quick and clean is too impersonal for me. I need to commune with what I'm doing and digital photography smiles at me like an acquaintance and I'd rather dance intimately with an old and dear friend. Yes, I worketh willingly with my hands and what I work with sometimes takes great diligence in the chase. The chemicals that I need to use in developing film etc. come from a limited list of suppliers now and altered art calls for a treasure hunt to gather the materials (yard sales, thrift stores, art stores, found objects in nature) and therefore alot of 'seeking' is called for .
In my practical daily life, I'm learning to apply this verse in everyday applications that will benefit my family. I have been concentrating on saving money on groceries and paper products etc., and I've found out I can save quite a bit if I handmake many things myself. So far, I've learned how to make my own laundry soap (I can make a batch that will get me just about 300 loads for less than 10 dollars!) I've also learned how to make my own facial cleanser for 1.00 as opposed to the usual 10.00 one I used to purchase. I can make my own baby wipes that work better than the store bought kind. I can also make daiper creme (which kind of surprises me, but really, do you want to be smearing something on your babies skin that will be absorbed into his bloodstream that you can't even pronounce?)I make my own household cleansers from natural and green ingredients. From all these savings, I have enough to put aside toward a family vacation and have enough cash to buy organic fruits and veggies for my family. I'm also learning to repurpose many items and recycle better than I have in the past. I'm really enjoying where I am right now in this journey and I see that wherever I am in life, I need to give it my 100 percent, (not thinking that I'm working toward another life in mind, but really making the most of where I'm at), I think when we are giving our all to where we are at, we can't help but propel forward into the next phase of where we are supposed to be. Colossians 3:23 & 24 says, " And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily , as to the Lord and not unto men. Knowing that of the Lord, ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance for ye serve the Lord Christ." My position while working inside our home is like working outside the home in the way that even on the worst days, I need to remember that I'm stilling serving my Lord in whatever I do and need to do it with a happy heart. I rejoice in the seeking of the wool today and will gladly continue to worketh willingly with my hands. Thank you Lord for the privilege today to serve you by serving the beautiful people you placed in my life today.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Day 3 - "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
"She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
Day 3
M.J.
Today was an exceptionally busy day. First, uncharacteristically, the dog decided for some reason he needed to go outside at 4am. I wasn’t going for it. But he is usually so good, I thought it may be important. So, up at 4 am to let the dog out I went. Just getting back in and trying to get to sleep, my 7 year old daughter decides she had an unsettling dream and wants to crawl in bed with mom. My husband then decides that snoring loudly is something he wants to do. So, needless to say, I did not get much sleep. But, up I was at7 am. You see, I volunteered to make desserts for my daughters class and had no idea what I was going to make. So, up out of bed I went. To make a long story short, there were about 62 things to do this morning before school and the day raced on.
No devotionals, no morning blogging, and barely a prayer. My husband got about 2 minutes of attention from me today. The day finally over, the kids in bed, exhausted, I decided that I needed a bath and listened to my friend by proxy, Joyce Meyer as she taught one of her stellar sermons.
It was very inspirational. When her show was over, I finally took some time to contemplate today’s verse.
I read it first thing in the morning, as I have it programmed into my phone so that I can read it several times a day. My first thought was, “Of course I don’t bring him harm. Of course I bring him good.” Then I began to reflect on the definitions of them both. What is harm? Is harm just limited to wicked, unfaithful women? Or is harm something that I am capable of doing on a daily basis?
I am notorious for stacking my days. My son’s book report was due today, my daughter had her class celebration, I am doing a big stack of paperwork for a job interview, I am making desserts for 200 people and for some reason, I volunteered to make desserts, French desserts, for my daughters class.
Now, I have to tell you, my daughter cares nothing about French desserts. She would eat a cookie made of butter, sugar and flour. But, after some reflection, I guess I wanted to thoroughly impress the staff and parents, because I made a French dessert. It was magnificent, but added stress to my day like you would not believe. My husband and family did not get the fresh juices I have been making for them every morning. I was too stressed to give him a happy greeting this morning. I was so busy, I barely made eye contact with the love of my life, father of my children. I then, barked at my children to hurry and put their shoes on, getting upset when my nine year old told me his were lost (again!). Not having time to clean up, I not only did not make my husband breakfast on his day off – I left him with a dirty kitchen, so he would have to wade through the dishes if he wanted to make it himself. Here it is, almost midnight and I am just pondering over the day wondering how I brought my husband good today. I can tell you that I made him feel unimportant by bypassing having (and making) breakfast for/with him. I did not show him that I have any faith or confidence in him, as I did not even make eye contact this morning. I left him with a mess on his day off, showing him that I valued making the volunteered project over his needs and wants. Was I hope or inspiration today? No. Was I uplifting and showing him I value him? No. Did I install confidence today? No.
I guess the point I want to make is that harm doesn’t always come in the form of “lying, cheating, or stealing” Sometimes harm can come by being too busy to notice that we have a very important role in our family and we are equipped and gifted with the ability to handle it. When we don’t use it, we ARE actually bringing harm. Today, I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to reflect on this day, and I am very grateful, that each day, every minute, God invites us to start fresh. I am going to go downstairs and find my husband, and let him know how much I appreciate all he does for us. I am going to go to sleep and welcome tomorrow as another chance at “bringing good” to my husband and my family, and be grateful that God brings the sun to rise each day, new, inviting and inspiring me to try again.
M.J.
Cat's Day 3
This is my beloved, and my friend.
My parents just celebrated their 50 year anniversary. It was really great to see them still clinging so tightly together after so many years. Being an artist, I took great enjoyment out of being able to create a photo-montage of our family for them. I placed a picture of the two of them, sharing an embrace, in the middle and surrounded them with their family members (their children, grandchildren etc.) Near their images were the words, "This is my beloved and my friend". It turned out really neat. In a minute, I'll explain why mentioning this is relevant to my investigating my verse of the day.
This morning I was wondering what I was going to blog about the 12th verse of Proverbs 31: "She does him good and not evil, All the days of her life." I read it over and over and then left it. During the day I would pray that God would give me a deeper understanding as to what that meant. On the surface, I would say, "Oh, don't do evil to my husband" well duh, that's easy, why on earth would I do that? Seems counterproductive since causing him evil affects me as well. Afterall, I am his wife, so any evil done to him is also, for the most part done to myself. But my question in prayer was, "Show me Lord what it really means to do him good and not evil all the days of my life." I meditated on this verse as I went on with my day. Today, I was blessed with our marvelous babysitter Chloe, so that I could get some grocery shopping done for the coming week. I had all of my coupons ready and list made, I knew exactly where I was going and had it all planned out so that I would not waste any gas or time. I got many items for free today by way of my couponing expertise and spent way less than 1/2 of my usual grocery budget! I was a good steward. Surely, my thriftiness was to be considered "doing my husband good and not evil". While making lunch I continued to ponder over this. After lunch, while cleaning the bathrooms and doing laundry, I asked myself again, "Can't all this work be considered doing him good and not evil?" I think it's all only part of it.
Later, after my husband came home, we were getting ready to go to the gym together (we've really come to enjoy our time working out together). Using the juicer, he very kindly made us a fresh fruit juice to share so we'd have enough energy to burn while we worked out. While he juiced, we talked a little more about our gym schedule. He asked why I didn't go often in the mornings like I used to. I told him that since the gym only allows us two hours of daily childcare, I didn't want to use an hour in the morning just in case he would like to work out with me in the afternoon. (He usually likes to use about one to one and a half hours to work out together and if I used an hour in the morning it would cut into the time available to work out with him, and I'd much rather work out with him than without. ) And then he said something that gave me insight as to what it means to " do good to him". He said, "That is so thoughtful and sweet of you to consider me like that. You are so nice to me. No one has ever been as nice to me as you have been. You are my very best friend."
Then it hit me. I do good to him, not in a blind way, the way a robot would, just going through motions. I do good to him because I love him, because he is the best friend I could ever have. Because he is the most precious person on this planet to me that I treasure and there is no one and nothing that could ever take his place in my heart . Because I love him. Later, the Lord brought a verse to my mind: Romans 13:10 "Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." My husband is my closest neighbor, the most intimate of interpersonal relationships for me. It occurred to me that I could actually fulfill each and every verse perfectly of the Proverbs 31 woman and yet not be her and accomplish absolutely nothing if I lack the love portion of it all. I love 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love suffers long and is kind (just like God is to us); love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." Amazing. The truth is that if love is at the core of it, then everything else is built easily atop of it. Work is easy, suffering is of no count, politeness is a breeze, forgiveness comes naturally, hope and belief in this person will never fail if you love them. It is easy to do him good and not evil all the days of my life.
Growing up in my parents' home, I saw many, many ups and downs ; they married young, so as kids we got to see them make many mistakes while they learned to work things out and compromise, but on both sides (mom and dad's) I think they learned to love each other deeply and so as they got much older, learned to overlook many wrongs (1 Peter 4:8: "Have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins." ) If I did everything right, but had not love then I've done nothing of any real value to anyone. My parents aren't the only ones who have made mistakes. I've had an impressive amount of practice at it. But we aren't robots, we are people and so we are fallible. We are going to make mistakes, but if love is the foundation for our life together, perhaps if it is God's will, I will someday have the honor and privilege to make a special picture for my husband on our 50th anniversary, with the words, "This is my beloved and my friend". I think I understand what it means to do him good and not evil all the days of my life; to build every investment upon love and give it my best because of it. Thank you Lord, for teaching me something new everyday ;).
Day 3
M.J.
Today was an exceptionally busy day. First, uncharacteristically, the dog decided for some reason he needed to go outside at 4am. I wasn’t going for it. But he is usually so good, I thought it may be important. So, up at 4 am to let the dog out I went. Just getting back in and trying to get to sleep, my 7 year old daughter decides she had an unsettling dream and wants to crawl in bed with mom. My husband then decides that snoring loudly is something he wants to do. So, needless to say, I did not get much sleep. But, up I was at7 am. You see, I volunteered to make desserts for my daughters class and had no idea what I was going to make. So, up out of bed I went. To make a long story short, there were about 62 things to do this morning before school and the day raced on.
No devotionals, no morning blogging, and barely a prayer. My husband got about 2 minutes of attention from me today. The day finally over, the kids in bed, exhausted, I decided that I needed a bath and listened to my friend by proxy, Joyce Meyer as she taught one of her stellar sermons.
It was very inspirational. When her show was over, I finally took some time to contemplate today’s verse.
I read it first thing in the morning, as I have it programmed into my phone so that I can read it several times a day. My first thought was, “Of course I don’t bring him harm. Of course I bring him good.” Then I began to reflect on the definitions of them both. What is harm? Is harm just limited to wicked, unfaithful women? Or is harm something that I am capable of doing on a daily basis?
I am notorious for stacking my days. My son’s book report was due today, my daughter had her class celebration, I am doing a big stack of paperwork for a job interview, I am making desserts for 200 people and for some reason, I volunteered to make desserts, French desserts, for my daughters class.
Now, I have to tell you, my daughter cares nothing about French desserts. She would eat a cookie made of butter, sugar and flour. But, after some reflection, I guess I wanted to thoroughly impress the staff and parents, because I made a French dessert. It was magnificent, but added stress to my day like you would not believe. My husband and family did not get the fresh juices I have been making for them every morning. I was too stressed to give him a happy greeting this morning. I was so busy, I barely made eye contact with the love of my life, father of my children. I then, barked at my children to hurry and put their shoes on, getting upset when my nine year old told me his were lost (again!). Not having time to clean up, I not only did not make my husband breakfast on his day off – I left him with a dirty kitchen, so he would have to wade through the dishes if he wanted to make it himself. Here it is, almost midnight and I am just pondering over the day wondering how I brought my husband good today. I can tell you that I made him feel unimportant by bypassing having (and making) breakfast for/with him. I did not show him that I have any faith or confidence in him, as I did not even make eye contact this morning. I left him with a mess on his day off, showing him that I valued making the volunteered project over his needs and wants. Was I hope or inspiration today? No. Was I uplifting and showing him I value him? No. Did I install confidence today? No.
I guess the point I want to make is that harm doesn’t always come in the form of “lying, cheating, or stealing” Sometimes harm can come by being too busy to notice that we have a very important role in our family and we are equipped and gifted with the ability to handle it. When we don’t use it, we ARE actually bringing harm. Today, I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to reflect on this day, and I am very grateful, that each day, every minute, God invites us to start fresh. I am going to go downstairs and find my husband, and let him know how much I appreciate all he does for us. I am going to go to sleep and welcome tomorrow as another chance at “bringing good” to my husband and my family, and be grateful that God brings the sun to rise each day, new, inviting and inspiring me to try again.
M.J.
Cat's Day 3
This is my beloved, and my friend.
My parents just celebrated their 50 year anniversary. It was really great to see them still clinging so tightly together after so many years. Being an artist, I took great enjoyment out of being able to create a photo-montage of our family for them. I placed a picture of the two of them, sharing an embrace, in the middle and surrounded them with their family members (their children, grandchildren etc.) Near their images were the words, "This is my beloved and my friend". It turned out really neat. In a minute, I'll explain why mentioning this is relevant to my investigating my verse of the day.
This morning I was wondering what I was going to blog about the 12th verse of Proverbs 31: "She does him good and not evil, All the days of her life." I read it over and over and then left it. During the day I would pray that God would give me a deeper understanding as to what that meant. On the surface, I would say, "Oh, don't do evil to my husband" well duh, that's easy, why on earth would I do that? Seems counterproductive since causing him evil affects me as well. Afterall, I am his wife, so any evil done to him is also, for the most part done to myself. But my question in prayer was, "Show me Lord what it really means to do him good and not evil all the days of my life." I meditated on this verse as I went on with my day. Today, I was blessed with our marvelous babysitter Chloe, so that I could get some grocery shopping done for the coming week. I had all of my coupons ready and list made, I knew exactly where I was going and had it all planned out so that I would not waste any gas or time. I got many items for free today by way of my couponing expertise and spent way less than 1/2 of my usual grocery budget! I was a good steward. Surely, my thriftiness was to be considered "doing my husband good and not evil". While making lunch I continued to ponder over this. After lunch, while cleaning the bathrooms and doing laundry, I asked myself again, "Can't all this work be considered doing him good and not evil?" I think it's all only part of it.
Later, after my husband came home, we were getting ready to go to the gym together (we've really come to enjoy our time working out together). Using the juicer, he very kindly made us a fresh fruit juice to share so we'd have enough energy to burn while we worked out. While he juiced, we talked a little more about our gym schedule. He asked why I didn't go often in the mornings like I used to. I told him that since the gym only allows us two hours of daily childcare, I didn't want to use an hour in the morning just in case he would like to work out with me in the afternoon. (He usually likes to use about one to one and a half hours to work out together and if I used an hour in the morning it would cut into the time available to work out with him, and I'd much rather work out with him than without. ) And then he said something that gave me insight as to what it means to " do good to him". He said, "That is so thoughtful and sweet of you to consider me like that. You are so nice to me. No one has ever been as nice to me as you have been. You are my very best friend."
Then it hit me. I do good to him, not in a blind way, the way a robot would, just going through motions. I do good to him because I love him, because he is the best friend I could ever have. Because he is the most precious person on this planet to me that I treasure and there is no one and nothing that could ever take his place in my heart . Because I love him. Later, the Lord brought a verse to my mind: Romans 13:10 "Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." My husband is my closest neighbor, the most intimate of interpersonal relationships for me. It occurred to me that I could actually fulfill each and every verse perfectly of the Proverbs 31 woman and yet not be her and accomplish absolutely nothing if I lack the love portion of it all. I love 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love suffers long and is kind (just like God is to us); love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." Amazing. The truth is that if love is at the core of it, then everything else is built easily atop of it. Work is easy, suffering is of no count, politeness is a breeze, forgiveness comes naturally, hope and belief in this person will never fail if you love them. It is easy to do him good and not evil all the days of my life.
Growing up in my parents' home, I saw many, many ups and downs ; they married young, so as kids we got to see them make many mistakes while they learned to work things out and compromise, but on both sides (mom and dad's) I think they learned to love each other deeply and so as they got much older, learned to overlook many wrongs (1 Peter 4:8: "Have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins." ) If I did everything right, but had not love then I've done nothing of any real value to anyone. My parents aren't the only ones who have made mistakes. I've had an impressive amount of practice at it. But we aren't robots, we are people and so we are fallible. We are going to make mistakes, but if love is the foundation for our life together, perhaps if it is God's will, I will someday have the honor and privilege to make a special picture for my husband on our 50th anniversary, with the words, "This is my beloved and my friend". I think I understand what it means to do him good and not evil all the days of my life; to build every investment upon love and give it my best because of it. Thank you Lord, for teaching me something new everyday ;).
Day 2 - "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value."
"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value."
M.J. Day Two
Our power is off this morning, luckily my laptop battery is fully charged. I usually have a hot cup of tea in the morning, but there is no way to heat it today. My Max Lucado devotional today was on “The Wilderness”. It focused on all the characteristics of the wilderness and the transformation that follows. I just love Max, he is such a talented writer. I feel like I am dancing around the subject as today’s verse makes me a little uncomfortable. Why, you ask?
Sometimes I don’t feel like my husband has “full confidence” in me. In fact, a lot of the time I feel that way. I want my husband to have “full confidence” in Christ, but me? That is a lot of pressure. Now here is what I am avoiding. It seems that for 15 years, I have been going about things the wrong way. Let me give you a few examples: I keep the financial records for our family. I balance the checkbooks, pay the bills and stash away the savings. I buy the groceries, the general household needs and distribute the money for any home improvement or extra “needs” the kids or any of us may have. I pretty much manage all the money that comes in and out of the house. I have a long financial background in business, so my husband leaves it to me. It has been a “chore” for me, or at least I have viewed it as one. At times, I have let him know that. Now, in light of this new information, if I viewed it as an opportunity to gain my husbands full confidence, I think there are more than a few things I would have changed.
Here is another. My husband works full time, and with the assistance of a local charter school, I home school our children. It has brought me great joy at times and great frustration at times as well, but over all it has been a great experience. They have some classes that they take at the charter school and some at home with mom. It really is the ideal experience, but at times, even ideal experiences can have their bad days. Those days, I give in to frustration or resentment. My husband will experience one of my “I need to take the morning off!” episodes, as I hand him lesson plans and secretly want him to experience every frustration I have ever had so that he can really “appreciate” all the time and effort I put into it.
This morning, as I ponder over these past events, I can’t help but think, “Are these actions things that I am doing to install ‘full confidence’ ” by my husband in me, or are they actually doing the complete opposite of that?
Please don’t get me wrong. I believe that I am a good and faithful wife. There are plenty of things that I contribute to this family and my marriage on a regular basis that allows me to be able to say that. I am just saying, that this morning, this area fills me with conviction and forces me to look at things with a new perspective.
If I wanted to gain my husbands full confidence, I might present our financial situation in a new and different way, than I have been presenting it. If I wanted to gain my husbands full confidence, even if I needed the morning off, I would be more positive and do everything possible so that when he is the “substitute teacher” his day goes smoothly and he has a great teaching day. Looking at things from this perspective is transforming. I am always amazed how just half a sentence in the bible can do that.
Now for the other half, again, more pressure. “and lacks nothing of value.” The verse is referring to the husband. It says he has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. Now, don’t miss this, it is not two versus, it is one. It is talking about the wife and says, all in one sentence “He has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”
So, reading the subtext (here I go with my subtext again), it would be fair to assume, that the fact that her husband “lacks nothing of value” is absolutely tied to the fact that he has “full confidence” in his wife. This is only day two and my entire marriage is already transforming. Here’s why. If my husband does not have full confidence in me, he would then lack “something of value”. What God considers valuable should not be taken lightly. If I am causing my husband to lack something valuable in God’s eyes, it is no longer an option for me. It is not something I can look at and say “That sounds good, but I don’t think I can do it, all the time.” It is no longer subject to my moods or offenses. It is something I need to focus on and be serious about. Notice what this verse doesn’t say.
It doesn’t say, “Her husband has full confidence in her, except when she has her off days.” Or “he has full confidence in her when she feels he deserves it” or “he has full confidence in her when he is leading the family under the guidelines she feels he should”.
Come on ladies, I know I am not the only one. We are good wives in need of some refinement and revelation. Today I will approach every interaction with my husband with the perspective of installing full confidence of my husband in me. I would encourage you to do the same. I would be blessed and encouraged if you sent me an email telling me how that went for you. For me, I will continue on this journey and look forward to the transformation that the wilderness brings.
M.J.
Cat's Day Two
To whom is my loyalty?
"The heart of her husband trusts safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain." It is true that my husband trusts me implicitly, so much that when it comes to money, for many years past, I have often felt unworthy of such a treasure. There have been many times in the past that I have gone out on personal shopping trip days that I probably should have cut back. There have been trips that I've recommended we take knowing that it would have been better for our budget to stay home and yet chose to ignore the numbers that stared at me from the budget notebook that I keep. My husband loves to eat out and so we'd go often (all the while our poor ignored budget was in the back of my brain) I couldn't tell him no and I wanted to go out too. Many times the out-to-eat special would leave us feeling sick and logy. I'm sure that couldn't have been very good for our bodies. I remember years ago getting my hair done at an upscale hair salon, color- cut- highlighted for...I don't think I want to tell you the amount. Let's just say I could have spent an amount that could equal my family's entire weekly grocery budget getting my hair done. I don't think I deserved my husband's trust over our finances so much then. And yet, what I was doing at the time is no different from what many women do today. The attitude out there is "if you have it spend it on what you want". Sure, I made sure all the bills were paid, my family seemed to have all their needs met, so I was entitled to play with some of the cash, after all I was working outside the home too then, I deserved it. But when I look back and investigate where my financial loyalty was during that time, the evidence is overwhelming that it wasn't really mostly in my husband's or my families interest as much as it was in my own.
I'm glad to say that since then, I've learned much more about true riches. The riches of letting go and letting God teach me about the riches of learning from His Word. The last 10 years or so have had so many ups and downs with teachable moments that could have only happened in the fire of trials and tribulations and for each and every one I am grateful. Over time God has taken situations and relationships that have broken me and humbled me so that He could build me up to be so much stronger and yes even of better use. There is a picture hanging in our guest bathroom. In it are pasted leaves from a trip to a waterpark I took with our eldest son about 14 years ago. I wanted to remember what a good day we had and so I picked up a few leaves from the park to remember the day by and brought them home and pasted them on this picture board. I also found a printed puzzle piece with the words, " Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time" 1 Peter 5:6. I don't know why I did it other than the reason that it looked nice, but I pasted it onto the board with the leaves. It has been hanging in my bathroom ever since. Walking in and out of that bathroom, I've always looked up at this verse and have felt that I'd still not fully grasped what it meant. Today, I realize that I've always felt that I knew how to humble myself under my own power, but now I realize that true humility only happens in part by our own submission and mostly by the act of humbling us by God. (2 Corinthians 7-10 shows us how the apostle Paul was humbled by an affliction despite his initial longing to be free of it and eventually learned to gladly accept it as God's will for him). Becoming humble happens over time, sometimes a very long time. But it can be a time of growth and deep understanding.
I know I've still got so much more to learn and a long way to go on my journey but over the last decade I've learned to step back away from myself alot more and put others' needs ahead of mine and that difference has richly blessed my life beyond what I could have imagined. Philippians 2:3 &4 says, "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." Things are a little different nowadays (I want to laugh out loud because in many ways things are hugely different!) I do my own hair now for less than 4.00 (with a coupon!) every two weeks. I am the queen of thrift when I need a new clothing item, but even still have given so many of my things away (I found having too many clothes was just a waste of space and clutter besides I only wore a few of my favorites anyway) and I don't often spend my time shopping for just myself these days. I am concentrating on improving the health of my family as well as myself (so that I can better take care of them too) by shopping better, eating at home naturally and exercising (many times as a family). Now, we also have committed to our budget and I am becoming a more "virtuous" guardian over what is not only our budget, but our future. I want my husband and friend to trust me because he knows that I am loyal to him and that I am also loyal and accountable to God and to all that He is teaching me, and that my thrift and industry will add to my husband's wealth (which we share together) over time.
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